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‘Days of Wine and Roses,’ a film about addiction, is now a Broadway musical : NPR

Living with someone who has an addiction can be hard for everyone involved. Aside from helping your loved one treat their addiction, it’s important to keep you and your family safe. With a bit of planning and boundary setting, this can be accomplished. This may seem easier said than done, especially when it feels like you’ve tried everything in your power to treat the disease in your loved one. But addiction can be one of the most severe conditions to contend with. It’s one that often takes multiple people to help treat, including doctors, friends, and family members.

Remember, supporting your partner in recovery requires commitment, understanding, and flexibility. By implementing these strategies, you can provide the necessary support for your partner’s successful recovery. Enabling behavior can hinder the addict’s recovery process and prolong their dependency on substances. It is essential to establish clear boundaries and hold the addict accountable. By refusing to enable destructive behavior, you can encourage them to seek help and take responsibility for their recovery. Co-addicts need to hide behind others and be submissive and addicts need someone to take care of them and put up with their behaviors.

Cultivating Compassion in the Relationship

Share your experiences, fears, and frustrations with trusted individuals who can provide empathy and perspective. It means refraining from providing financial support for their substance use, refusing to turn a blind eye to their inappropriate actions, and resisting the urge to make excuses for their destructive behavior. It feels like walking on a tightrope, never knowing when the delicate balance will be disrupted. The future becomes a haze of what-ifs and maybes, as trust becomes a fragile thread that you desperately cling to.

I set up a small area where he can do it somewhat safely, but it still scares me and I would rather him not at all. However, I started allowing this because previously when he was outside he would sometimes fall out and I’d find him unconscious on the sidewalk. I’m also afraid of standing next to him outside where someone from my building might see me, or we might get robbed by other addicts. I’m on the verge of asking him to stop smoking inside again because I feel like he’s getting reckless about it and it’s just become something we fight about. Curious though where you draw the line between enablement and helping here though? When loving an addict, it’s crucial to prioritize your own self-care.

Their Focus is on the Substance

Additionally, educate yourself about addiction through reputable sources and books. The more you understand addiction, the better equipped you will be to support your loved one. Addiction is a formidable foe that can consume individuals and strain relationships to their breaking point. It is essential to grasp the nature of addiction and its impact on both the addicted individual and their partner.

loving an addict

Until an addict dedicates to recovery, their encouragement to love deeply may always be compromised. Remember, all these reasons do not make an addict unworthy of love or incapable of change. Addiction often involves lying, deceit, and broken promises. Trust is essential in any relationship, but it becomes incredibly difficult to build or maintain trust when addiction is in the picture. It does not really matter how much they love you or how far they are willing to go for you.

Loving an Addict: Look After Your Own Mental Health

Yet in the case of addiction, those feelings of sadness are often accompanied by anger and blame. When someone you care about is seemingly making the choice to maintain and feed their addiction, there can be a sense loving an addict of helplessness in trying to fix the situation. You might spend hours feeling your way through “if onlys” or “maybes,” yet know in your heart that you are powerless over the addiction and your loved one’s situation.

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